With a mind that refuses to be quiet and is not very good at slowing – right – down – attempting meditation was always going to be interesting.
It is amazing what you can learn when you’re pinned to a chair trying not to overthink; because, as the facilitator introduced the need to remain mindful – in meditation – and described how to detach a little part of your consciousness to check that you are, indeed, relaxing –
the penny finally dropped.
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On Monday, I did a question and answer session with a load of health care professionals based in the East of England. There were (I think) a good mixture of nurses, GPs, psychologists, CAMHS, crisis teams, treatment centre managers…That kind of thing.
Because the week was rapidly sucked into a whirlpool and I have spent most of it trying to catch up with myself, I have only just started to process what we said; and, interestingly – although probably unsurprisingly – the question that arose in each of the groups I talked with was: “what are the things that really helped?”
I have talked, extensively, about what doesn’t help.
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Yesterday I wrote about things that don’t help.
It was one of the hardest posts that I have written. It sent me straight back to some places that I have forced myself not to dwell on; and reminded me of how hard it is to have a voice. Particularly when you’re up against a system and not feeling that great about your own state of mind.
Today, I have been attempting – and failing – to advise other people how to handle these feelings.
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The 22nd-28th of February is Eating Disorder Awareness week.
This is an important focus for anyone who’s been directly – or indirectly – touched by an eating disorder; and, for those who spend the remainder of the year campaigning, tirelessly, to change the misconceptions and put a few constraints on the terrifying spread.
There have been, therefore, some stories on the news; and some articles in magazines; and a scurry of activity, online, amongst the organisations and individuals out there who want to make a difference.
There are conferences going on; and new campaigns being started; and I have selected my five favourite recovery posts to highlight that it is possible –
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“Do you actually want to get better?” was the question she asked me, when I had been caught, yet again, “bucking the system”. “And did I know”, she continued, “that the prognosis wasn’t good, for people like me?”
Well, no, actually, at fourteen I hadn’t stumbled over those particular statistics; and, no, since you’ve asked, I didn’t want to get better, if 5000 Kcal diet; pure terror; and you getting your way, were part of the plan.
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Treatment is a subjective experience. It may be dictated by prescription – but its success is down to how it works in relation to you.
I’m sure that an official spiel for each specialism is readily available; so, to try and be a little useful in my own special way, the following section looks at the different treatments I’ve had – conventional, unconventional and things that aren’t “treatment” but seem to help – and how they’ve made a difference.
It also comes with a few very big and very painfully learnt lessons…
Honesty is paramount – if you’re not being truthful, you can’t treat the real problem.
Time heals – don’t give up if the impact’s not immediate.
I wasn’t a great fan of CBT – until I looked back at my recovery and realised that I’d been using the techniques all the way along.
The diarising and emotional detecting and practical planning have obviously been worth the effort because the moment I wobble, the positive voice kicks back in; and, whenever I take the next step, I go back to the tools and tips that have got me this far.
Unlike traditional therapy, you don’t have to keep paying out every time you need to sort a few things out. Once you’ve mastered the techniques, you’re equipped for life.
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A few years ago, I would have slammed the treatment for eating disorders. I would have blamed my failed attempts at recovery on professional incompetence, medical ignorance – and the government’s failure to provide an adequate national health service.
A few years ago, I would have said that nobody could help me. When you’ve tried everything from inpatient to outpatient – via day therapy and 24 hour guard – within private, public and locked facilities; delivered by doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, specialists, hypnotherapists …well, you start to feel that all the options have been exhausted.
Today, I can say that the latter’s not true – and that I’m probably not milky white in relation to the former.
The treatment for eating disorders is not, as I’d liked to have believed, fundamentally flawed -
I didn’t really help myself.
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If you’re hoping for Paul McKenna style puppetry, you might be a little disappointed. Hypnotherapy didn’t re-wire my brain or miraculously uncover the ‘big reason’, as I’d kind of been hoping for.
It did, however, shake things up.
A compete re-wire was not on the cards – but some subtle re-programming helped.
Hypnotherapy may not provide all the answers – but it shows you that they’re already in there.
And it helps you to decipher the code.
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You can’t beat a BT slogan: it is, most definitely, good to talk.
Being heard is equally important; being understood, a winning formula.
When you start putting things into words, you can deal with them.
When you start addressing difficult situations, you can talk through the confusion.
If you’re looking for a ‘get it off your chest’ space to say what you really think and feel – rather than what you should think and feel – then counselling’s great: but, a good counsellor is more than just a sympathetic ear; and, a good counselling section is as much about armchair detection and psychological sleuthing as it is about verbal venting.
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I’ve had a few small misconceptions about food that some good nutritional advice has helped me to correct.
For a start, fat does not convert into body fat.
Second, you get out what you put in – and no puns are intended. Invest wisely because your body is a temple.
Third, the car-petrol-food-fuel analogy isn’t as clichéd as it sounds. You can only run on empty for so long.
Nutritionists can really help to change your thoughts about food and, as I started to get my head in gear, they armed me with some great science to challenge some of the bizarre conclusions my anorexia had reached.
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