I have tried to be positive with my site.

I have been sensitive with the subject – and with the audience.

I have stuck to my ‘only say something if it is actually helpful’ rule – as much as is humanly possible -

But the escalation of pro-anorexia websites – in comparison to the impossibility of getting anyone to promote an anti pro-anorexia site – has pushed me over the edge.

It’s utter madness – and I’m fuming.

We’re so scared of saying the wrong thing that we’re saying nothing at all.
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At the impressionable age of 11, when adult insecurities and expectations are starting to kick in, I developed anorexia bulimia.

It has taken me 18 years to get rid of it.

Eating disorders are intimately bound up with social expectations (girl power), psychological characteristics’ (intelligence, perfectionism), cultural trends (24 hours food) and the age old struggle to find your identity –

We’re having a bit of an explosion in the 21st century.

Everything’s coming all at once; and, it’s travelling with the lightening speed of the digital age.
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Whilst anorexia will use any excuse it can get its hands on to avoid food (vegetarianism, braces and an inability to digest rich food providing prime examples), it is only in my recovery that I have started noticing that I might, actually, have some real intolerances.

This could, of course, be a consequence of 17 years chronic anorexia bulimia, or a simple case IBS– or just further illustration that are bodies and are minds are incredibly connected and it is, perhaps, unsurprising that we struggle so much with food when the division is hard to spot.

Suffering crippling stomach cramps may not have been a particularly pleasant experience in recent months – but it’s taught me a valuable lesson: it is impossible to divorce mind from body, and looking after one will inevitably help the other….

I’d be the first to concede that arguing with an anorexic is a battle –

But I’m ready to contest any pro-ana arguments; and, with 18 years of eating disorder destroyed life behind me, I’ll lay my track record on the line before being accused of not understanding.

A website encouraging anorexia may feel like your friend but it’s really just an extension of your worst enemy.
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Airbrushing was the topic of today’s breakfast chat. They’re trying to get it banned. Again.

The inevitable link to the rise in eating disorders – and particularly those within the female under 18s group (apparently) – caught my attention, resonated with my distorted-body-image-peer-pressure-inappropriate-role-models debate.

The story’s old and I’ve been sceptical in the past (anorexia isn’t just about the vanity of meeting social expectations), a little indignant (I am capable of distinguishing between reality and illusion, thank you very much); but, there’s another way of looking at it that I’m happier to accept.

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A doctor writing for The Times on Saturday raised an interesting point: medical awareness campaigns may not be good for the health; they may, in fact, make you more anxious.

It’s a pertinent topic. With the media flurry around swine flu, health awareness has certainly featured high on the public agenda – and the worldwide web hasn’t been immune. Mind you, the internet wasn’t around in the last flu pandemic; or, at least, it wasn’t around in every living room. Thanks to the internet, we’ve got the WHO sitting on our sofa, alongside an overstretched NHS and a whole host of swine flu scaremongers.

As a 21st century hypochondriac, I am a sitting duck.

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My response to an article about National Slow Down week was particularly appropriate: I stopped.

Just for a second – but, long enough to prove the author right. Slowing down feels slightly alien. I seem to have become accustomed to doing everything at double speed – and at the same time.

Whilst not wasting further time re-hashing what has already been written, the speed of society debate is definitely worth pausing upon – because I’m not sure that it’s just a result of the technical revolution or even a reflection of today’s society; and, I’m not sure that it only affects the up-and-coming-city-dwelling-highly-strung next generation. It does, I suspect, go slightly deeper than that.

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