Archive for the ‘Positivity’ Category

Walking on the Bright Side…

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Because things are changing at the moment, and so I’m tired – and panicky – and a little bit afraid, I have lost sight of the bigger picture – and ended up just focusing on what’s going wrong. It’s okay to recognise when you’re struggling; but it’s important to also keep the not-so-bad bits in mind –

I have become so entangled with the negative, recently, that I have stopped appreciating the things that are good. Have been so busy making comparisons and coveting other people’s treasures – that my own have become neglected and dull.

This is the kind of thinking that keeps my dissatisfaction high and kept my eating disorder thriving…

So I am going to step around the fear of acknowledging that which is precious to me (and therefore might be lost); and move beyond the guilt that often accompanies the good things (because having comes with the question of what I deserve); and get over my resistance to “things could be worse” type commentary…

Because, really, Melissa, things could be far far worse.

Sometimes it’s better to take a step back and allow the bigger picture in…

1. I am here

The Little Things

Friday, March 5th, 2010

The guy next door offered to walk me home.

I forget sometimes, that it really doesn’t take a lot.

One kind word or a gentle gesture, and suddenly, the bridge between me and the rest of the world seems infinitely smaller.

It is important, every now and then, to remember this.

Five Good Things

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

I am not great at positive affirmations and platitudes. I’ll do them – spontaneously and under a different name – but I find forced sentimentality a little nauseating…

Which is why my next strategy may come as a bit of a surprise!

‘Five Good Things’ is my version of the ‘things that I am grateful for today’ concept. I have used it at various stages in my illness, my recovery, and in those horrible periods when life seemed pretty bleak and it was hard to see the point.

Interestingly – and unintentionally – it also proved a great way of falling asleep at night; particularly during times when my head refused to be quiet or the emptiness of going to bed with a mind full of miserable thoughts was just too much to bear.

Now, it’s good for days when I have that nagging sense of dissatisfaction, or when I get caught up in the hype and forget that it’s the little things that really make the difference –

Because ‘Five Good Things’ is really simple and all about recognising the brief moments of specialness – so that they become a lot bigger.

The Art of Positive Thinking

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

I am, by nature, a glass half empty person. If I think the worst, I’m tempting fate; if I’m quietly confident, then catastrophe is inevitable.

Or that’s what it feels like sometimes.

Fortunately, positive thinking can be acquired.

Like any bad habit, you can re-wire your head if you practice something enough.



Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

How simple is this. I don’t even need an extended post.

If you smile at someone, they’ll smile back.

If they don’t smile back, you don’t mind that much because at least you’re more smiley than they are.

If they do smile back, you feel all warm. The world isn’t that bad and you’re not really on your own.

Excellent all round.

You’ve just got to remember to do it.

The ‘what have you got to lose’ approach

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Hitting the bottom is strangely liberating. It’s easier to throw caution to the wind when it feels like the worst has already happened.

The ‘what have you got to lose’ approach is similar to “what’s the worst that can happen?” in psychiatric speak. The latter never worked for me – because if I knew what ‘the worst that could happen’ was then it wouldn’t be so terrifying – but the former’s been quite useful.

The subtle difference? The ‘worst that can happen’ assumes something bad in the outcome; the ‘nothing to lose’ admits that your starting place ain’t worth conserving.


The ‘everything happens for a (positive) reason’ approach.

Friday, June 12th, 2009

A wise man once asked me what good had come out of my eating disorder. If it had happened so that something positive could come out of the whole experience; what would that positive be?

Sweet FA was my answer for a very long time.

But I was missing the point.