Archive for the ‘Getting Better’ Category
Thursday, February 25th, 2010
The 22nd-28th of February is Eating Disorder Awareness week.
This is an important focus for anyone who’s been directly – or indirectly – touched by an eating disorder; and, for those who spend the remainder of the year campaigning, tirelessly, to change the misconceptions and put a few constraints on the terrifying spread.
There have been, therefore, some stories on the news; and some articles in magazines; and a scurry of activity, online, amongst the organisations and individuals out there who want to make a difference.
There are conferences going on; and new campaigns being started; and I have selected my five favourite recovery posts to highlight that it is possible –
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Tags: help, recovery, stigma, treatment
Posted in Getting Better, In context | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
Despite adamantly believing that I would never speak about my eating disorder and vowing that, if I recovered, I would leave it behind me, I have found myself doing rather a lot of talking in recent months.
Provided with some great opportunities by Professor Janet Treasure, I have spoken to students, professionals, and general bods; and, found it a remarkably rewarding process and a real way of being able to change a few perceptions.
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Tags: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia, information, size zero, stigma, the science
Posted in Getting Better, Lost | 1 Comment »
Friday, February 19th, 2010
“Do you actually want to get better?” was the question she asked me, when I had been caught, yet again, “bucking the system”. “And did I know”, she continued, “that the prognosis wasn’t good, for people like me?”
Well, no, actually, at fourteen I hadn’t stumbled over those particular statistics; and, no, since you’ve asked, I didn’t want to get better, if 5000 Kcal diet; pure terror; and you getting your way, were part of the plan.
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Tags: hope, recovery, treatment
Posted in Getting Better | 1 Comment »
Friday, February 12th, 2010
You know when you walk past a shop window and don’t recognise yourself because you’d forgotten that you were wearing your new pink coat or had just lost 4 inches of hair?
I’ve just had one of those moments.
Post pilates leg stretches, and I was so surprised by the leg that I was stretching that I ended up twisting it back to front and forgetting to follow the crucial
“breathe”….
My legs do not look like my legs anymore, and I couldn’t guarantee that this body belongs to me.
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Tags: Body Image, weight
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
There is a little voice in my head that likes to make connections between totally unrelated things. I call it the if-then voice, because this is its favourite line.
If you don’t do that – then this will happen, OR, if you do that – then this will be the result.
It likes to predict the outcome, does the if-then voice. It likes to consider any action – or non action – in terms of what will come next and in line with its own, mysterious, agenda, which is mostly around controlling me.
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Tags: change, control, OCD, self-acceptance
Posted in Getting Better, Lost | 2 Comments »
Monday, February 8th, 2010
There are a few things that I’d like to apologise for.
I realise that this comes a little late and that we’ve started, finally, to look forwards rather than backwards; but I’d like to start afresh and I want you to know – before we go any further – that I’m sorry (on behalf of my eating disorder), for some of the things that I imagine are hard to forget –
Like the times that I made you pick me up from supermarkets with armfuls of bags, or dragged you to all–you-can-eat buffets, because it was the cheapest way of bingeing and I wasn’t quite brave enough (then) to go on my own.
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Tags: friends and family, moving on, regret
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, January 29th, 2010
I have been prescribed some Temazepam, to help me sleep.
It sits, alongside all the other well-intended treatment, in my kitchen cupboard, whilst I toss, and turn, and wait for the panic to wear itself out–
I have never been very good with medication.
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Tags: control, recovery, treatment
Posted in Getting Better | 2 Comments »
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
Last night, I was painting plates.
Art wasn’t this therapeutic when I was painting feelings.
I think I might have been missing the point – or just getting too hung up on it. When you’re trying to draw the perfect tragedy, it doesn’t really work; and, if you’re doing something because it’s ‘part of the programme’, it can feel a little bit like you’re back at school –
Painting plates, however, is a whole different ball game to psychiatric ward Blue Peter or the hardcore art therapy that, along with the plastic chairs and patronisation, was hard to take seriously. It is, instead, about having fun and being creative and doing something different – which is a therapy in itself.
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Tags: creativity, things that help, treatment
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Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
As a self help sceptic (reformed), the irony inherent in my blog has not been missed.
If you’d given me a web address or a self help book a few years back, I’d have turned my nose straight up.
There was a certain arrogance to my eating disorder (what would they know?) that sneered at self help (like it’s that easy) and people who claimed to “understand”; an automatic scepticism towards shop brought solutions and the hollowness of a few positive words that couldn’t possibly appreciate my pain –
I might have been wrong.
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Tags: change, helping yourself, things that help, treatment
Posted in Getting Better | 4 Comments »
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
If they ever develop a way to clone humans, I’ll be recommending my brother. I’m not sure I would have got through my first binge-free night without him, and I’m certain I wouldn’t have made it through my first binge-free month.
Whilst he probably doesn’t want to repeat the experience and I don’t think he’s available on loan, I’ve been trying to identify what really made the difference – because, whether he admits it or not, he helped me turn my life around.
So, in the absence of cloning and a sibling loan provision, I’ve tried to break-down my brother and pinpoint the things that helped; because, there might be some other guardian angels flying around out there, or you might have wings yourself….
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Tags: Bulimia, friends and family, people power, recovery
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, January 15th, 2010
I have stayed away from mentioning my family on this blog. This is, possibly, a lingering lesson from family therapy. There is little value in throwing around recriminations and blame and hurt. Family therapy’s a good tool but it comes with a few words of caution: get a good therapist; work together; and, remember that you can only ever change yourself.
The trick to effective family therapy is in the “family”. For some reason, it can be hard for the word – and the people – to stick. In the first few attempts, we fell at this crucial hurdle; and, what began as a group affair, quickly reverted back to the therapist and me.
This kind of defeats the object, although it’s relatively easy to see where it all went wrong…
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Tags: friends and family, talking, treatment
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Monday, January 11th, 2010
In July, I had a nasty incident with a treadmill and some osteoperotic bones, and I learnt a thing or two about this piece of machinery that I have been walking around in –
The human body is pretty amazing; and it deserves a bit of respect.
As I have been struggling with befriending my body recently, I thought that re-visiting what I learnt on the physiotherapist’s bed might be a good idea – or at least plug in a few of the holes that the therapist’s couch has evidently left – so, here’s a run down of a few key bits of learning that might make me hesitate when I’m next tempted to give myself a good kicking.
The first thing that my physio did when I sat down for my consultation was to tap me, sharply, on the knee to see whether my foot shot up. It did. Lesson 1: we’re all joined up.
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Tags: Body Image, mind and body
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
Since putting on weight, I seem to have separated me, from my body. It sits, over there; whilst I stay, over here; and, never the twain shall meet.
We weren’t this disconnected when I was hideously underweight. We may not have been friends but we were, at least, on speaking terms. Now we don’t acknowledge each other.
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Tags: Body Image, self discovery, self esteem, weight
Posted in Getting Better | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 4th, 2010
Because an eating disorder does not like to be challenged; and, because it prefers to live in shrouded denial, rather than open discussion, it took me a while to recognise the importance of a good GP.
The first few said the wrong things. The next few just didn’t get me. And the one I have now is a total godsend. It is possible to work with, rather than against, the health profession.
Whilst my eating disorder was punctuated by long GP-less spells and a general wariness of anyone whose name happened to be preceded by DR; my current GP is dispelling a lot of my assumptions; and, a more objective me is recognising just how important it is to get a little support in place, particularly when you’re playing Russian Roulette with your health –
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Tags: treatment
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Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
There are a few things that I would like to take the opportunity to leave behind in 2009, starting with a strange little habit that I have of separating each meal into its constituent food group and then knocking them off, one at a time, in the prescribed order: green (vegetable), orange (carbohydrate), red (protein).
Whilst New Years is traditionally about making new resolutions, I’ve decided that breaking old ones is equally acceptable; and, there are a few lurking habits that I’d like to shrug off as the clock strikes midnight –
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Tags: change, letting Go
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Monday, December 28th, 2009
As I may have mentioned (!), it has been a year today since my last cigarette; and, whilst, I may not have uncovered the secrets of nicotine abstention, I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping myself on the straight and narrow.
A year ago, life without cigarettes felt unimaginable and totally unappealing; so, if you’re going through the same struggle, here’s a few things that made the impossible, possible –
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Tags: Addiction, change, smoking
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Monday, December 28th, 2009
It has been a year, today, since my last cigarette, and I’m pausing to mark the occasion.
Stopping smoking was one of the hardest things that I have everdone.
Losing a nicotine addiction is far more difficult than picking one up, which happened quite easily with a few sneaky drags behind the bus shelter rapidly escalating into a twenty a day crutch.
And so, from an unremarkable date in about 1996, to December 28th 2008, my day opened – and then closed – with a deep draw on a cigarette; and, without really noticing what I was doing, I structured my life around a packet of Superking Royals.
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Tags: Addiction, smoking
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Saturday, December 26th, 2009
Sometimes, when I’ve had a bad day or I’m tired of fighting, then the temptation to go back is hard to resist and I can feel myself digging my heels in, childlike, and throwing a bit of a mental tantrum, because it’s not fair that I can’t have the thing that will make me feel better and it’s so much easier for everyone else –
And, when this happens, I have to take myself in hand, like you would with a petulant teenager, and explain that life isn’t always fair, and that the things that we want are not always the things that are good for us.
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Tags: letting Go, recovery, relapse
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Saturday, December 5th, 2009
Now that I’ve made some space for a life, I am enjoying the Saturday night experience.
After the loneliness of an eating disorder, you don’t take anything for granted: a night in with friends may be commonplace – but after years of me and my food, even the mundane is strangely precious; even the smallest of pleasures is noted as an achievement –
Because Saturday nights still feel like a novelty – and friends are proving far better company than food.
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Tags: friends and family, getting back in touch, isolation, recovery
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, December 4th, 2009
I find the fundamentals quite hard.
The Times Killer Su Du Ku is far easier to master than the ‘simple things’ like a good night’s sleep.
It is not, unfortunately, quite so important in the grand scale of things (a sleepless night is never a great start to the day); but, it does, at least, divert your attention from the swirling whirling thoughts…
Which is one of my main sleep blockers.
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Tags: sleep, things that help
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Friday, December 4th, 2009
Phrase 3 is reserved for emergencies – or when you’ve tried to turn off and you’ve done the routine, but sleep remains elusive.
These are my top tricks and, whilst I imagine that what works (and what definitely doesn’t) is totally unique; they show that you can be creative with strategies – and there’s an answer out there somewhere!
1. Variations on counting sheep: counting in French (works for me); alphabet lists (eg girls names beginning with A, then B, then etc.); counting your breathing.
2. Deep breathing: get a breathing book. It’s another basic that I seem to grapple with – but there’s a proper way of doing it that (when I remember) can sometimes lull me into sleep.
3. Nice thoughts lists: thinking of all the good things that have happened that day and all the important people helps me if I’m feeling a little down when I’ve gone to bed.
4. Imagining tomorrow: the therapeutic exercise didn’t stick that well with me, but imagining how you’d like the next day to be can sometimes be a nice way to get to sleep.
5. Talking tapes. For when your head won’t be quiet, at a low level, and preferably with no exciting sound effects.
6. Hypnotherapy tapes. As above. And particularly if you end up listening to the talking tape’s story rather than falling asleep.
7. Talking to yourself. Not a sign of madness (I hope); but, sometimes, telling myself that it will be okay and giving myself a little personal pep talk when I’m lying there waiting for sleep to make an appearance, can be just what I’m looking for.
Tags: sleep
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, December 4th, 2009
The ‘off-switch’ to my thoughts is slightly faulty; and, I tend to find that my head doesn’t slowdown, as it should, in the run up to bedtime. So, in order to break the cycle and stop thinking or worrying or planning or having ideas, the following things seem to interrupt my thought patterns:
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Tags: sleep
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Saturday, November 28th, 2009
When I was a teenager, I was offered £500 to stop smoking. Even though £500 was a fortune to a penniless 17 year old; I failed at the first hurdle. When you’re addicted to something, a rational argument does not always equate.
The outcome? I remained a penniless teen – who couldn’t even give up smoking and had therefore thrown away the easiest £500 she had ever been – or would ever be – offered; whilst appearing ungrateful to the well-meaning sponsors and letting them down in the process -
The lesson? The rules are different when you’re dealing with head stuff and when you’re overwhelmed by an addiction. A little distance is imperative and you can’t start adding new things into the mix without a touch of caution – because it can all get horribly confused.
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Tags: Addiction, friends and family
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Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
I keep being asked what friends and family can do to make it better.
Coming from the other side, I’m only just beginning to realise the wide net that an eating disorder can cast.
There’s a horrible urgency and a desperation in the ‘how to help’ discussion that I seem to have been completely oblivious to–
People are not as judgemental as my eating disorder had had me believe: they want to help.
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Tags: friends and family
Posted in Getting Better | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
I am not great at positive affirmations and platitudes. I’ll do them – spontaneously and under a different name – but I find forced sentimentality a little nauseating…
Which is why my next strategy may come as a bit of a surprise!
‘Five Good Things’ is my version of the ‘things that I am grateful for today’ concept. I have used it at various stages in my illness, my recovery, and in those horrible periods when life seemed pretty bleak and it was hard to see the point.
Interestingly – and unintentionally – it also proved a great way of falling asleep at night; particularly during times when my head refused to be quiet or the emptiness of going to bed with a mind full of miserable thoughts was just too much to bear.
Now, it’s good for days when I have that nagging sense of dissatisfaction, or when I get caught up in the hype and forget that it’s the little things that really make the difference –
Because ‘Five Good Things’ is really simple and all about recognising the brief moments of specialness – so that they become a lot bigger.
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Tags: depression, helping yourself, positivity, things that help
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
I don’t have much of my real teeth left.
If you’ve got bulimia, get yourself a good dentist – there’s stuff that they can do.
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Tags: Bulimia, things that help, treatment
Posted in Getting Better | 4 Comments »
Saturday, October 10th, 2009
Treatment is a subjective experience. It may be dictated by prescription – but its success is down to how it works in relation to you.
I’m sure that an official spiel for each specialism is readily available; so, to try and be a little useful in my own special way, the following section looks at the different treatments I’ve had – conventional, unconventional and things that aren’t “treatment” but seem to help – and how they’ve made a difference.
It also comes with a few very big and very painfully learnt lessons…
Honesty is paramount – if you’re not being truthful, you can’t treat the real problem.
Time heals – don’t give up if the impact’s not immediate.
Tags: treatment
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
I seem to have stopped being invisible now that I’ve put on a little weight.
People are no longer looking through me or averting their eyes.
I didn’t realise that they were doing this until I had a comparison – but now that there’s a little more skin on my bones, the reaction is a whole lot more positive…
I actually feel quite good.
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Tags: getting back in touch, re-connecting, recovery, self discovery, weight
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Friday, September 11th, 2009
I’m not sure that I’ll be able to have children.
You might not care at 14; but it hurts at 29.
The signs aren’t looking good; so, whilst the rest of my peers are busy reproducing, I’m still waiting for my body to get used to being healthy.
After 17 years, it’s taking a while.
Children didn’t enter my eating disorder dominated head very often; but now I’m getting back in touch with the world, I wish I’d explored the concept a little. It’s only with maturity that I understand that it’sone of the most important things a person can ever do –
I’m kind of hoping that I haven’t destroyed that option.
Please learn from my mistakes.
Tags: Anorexia Nervosa, lessons
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
The recession has taught us some important lessons: actions come with costs and consequences; and, resources are finite – sometimes you have to make a choice.
I wish that I’d applied the logic a little earlier.
In an age of instant and ongoing gratification and when you’re used to living for the moment, either / or tends to be an afterthought; the consequences of any action too distant to consider –
– until it all comes crashing down.
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Tags: helping yourself, lessons, things that help
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Thursday, August 27th, 2009
I’m not sure that I’m quite qualified to write this bit. I only have the faintest inkling of how hard it must be for family and friends. I don’t want to presume their feelings.
I don’t want to write their experience wrong.
I imagine there are some adjectives that fit – angry, frustrated, scared, hurt, sad, confused, desperate – but don’t do justice to the feelings.
I imagine that there are questions and accusations and things coming out the wrong way and things not coming out at all – but I don’t want to own their experiences.
My eating disorder had a nasty habit of taking precedence.
I won’t.
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Tags: friends and family
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Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
We don’t like to tell people when we’re trying something new.
A challenge is always better when the anticipated failure is private: it’s bad enough to let yourself down. Plus, telling people puts the pressure on – it means that you actually have to go through with it.
It also means that you don’t have to go through with it on your own.
You can’t beat a little people power. It’s got me where I am today – and it’ll probably get me where I want to be tomorrow.
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Tags: friends and family, people power
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
I wasn’t a great fan of CBT – until I looked back at my recovery and realised that I’d been using the techniques all the way along.
The diarising and emotional detecting and practical planning have obviously been worth the effort because the moment I wobble, the positive voice kicks back in; and, whenever I take the next step, I go back to the tools and tips that have got me this far.
Unlike traditional therapy, you don’t have to keep paying out every time you need to sort a few things out. Once you’ve mastered the techniques, you’re equipped for life.
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Tags: treatment
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Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
Sometimes, getting better is far scarier than staying ill.
Sometimes, the apprehension and the expectation and the uncertainty can stop you from changing your life. We’re far more comfortable with what we know –
It will be okay.
It might feel scary, but you’ll be okay.
There are no certainties – but it will not be as bad as you expect.
It just takes a little courage and a few deep breaths; and, when you’ve got through the first challenges, you’ll be looking back and wondering what took you so long –
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Tags: change, lessons, letting Go, recovery
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Monday, August 3rd, 2009
I have wasted a lot of time searching for a magic cure for eating disorders.
If this existed, I’m sure that a scientist or doctor would have already made the breakthrough.
There is no one-fix-wonder for anorexia-bulimia; no magic pill to change your head overnight and make it better; no one size fits all answer to explain why it happens and how to make it stop happening.
There’s just lots of different and difficult ways of recovering.
It’s simply a case of finding what works for you.
Tags: things that help
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Monday, August 3rd, 2009
As twee as it sounds, there’s lots of bridges to be built when you’re getting better.
Recovery may be a personal thing but humans are inherently social. It’s the connections and the interactions and the relationships that provide the context – and make the real difference.
Having created quite an impressive gulf between me – and the rest of the world – this bit’s about some of the things that I’ve been doing to start, tentatively, re-making those connections:
Tags: re-connecting
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Saturday, August 1st, 2009
I could be swallowed up by the regret, be dragged way down into the pits of despair – if I lingered on it for too long.
The remorse has only come with the recovery. It’s the one saving grace – because it means that I’m moving in the right direction.
Even though it hurts like hell.
When I reach the other side, it will be worth it.
This is what my recovery has often been like. A painful awakening, an uncomfortable admission, the harsh candour of reality.
(more…)
Tags: emotional healing
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Saturday, August 1st, 2009
Who’d have thought that stuffing envelopes could be an aid for recovery? I wouldn’t recommend it as a lifetime career; but, as a stepping stone to the real world, the value far exceeded the income.
At first, it just gave my head a break from tying itself in anorexic knots.
Then, it gave me a reason to eat.
Eventually, it gave me the motivation to get better – and, a context to get better within.
All the way along, it helped me build up a little faith in myself.
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Tags: re-connecting
Posted in Getting Better | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
There are strict rules of etiquette around what you do and what you don’t talk about; socially acceptable themes of conversation – and those that should be kept behind closed doors or under a stiff upper lip.
We’re scared of giving too much away, of putting ourselves in the firing line of judgement or criticism or idle chitchat – self-editing’s an easy habit to slip in to.
Most people aren’t that bad. Most people appreciate a little honesty. Most people are willing to listen –
- if you’re able to talk.
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Tags: re-connecting, talking, things that help
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Friday, July 17th, 2009
An objective listener is a godsend. A non-judgemental pair of ears makes all the difference.
Eating disorders thrive on secrecy: just by sitting and listening, you’ve got one over on it.
Just by offering a different perspective, you’re challenging its supremacy.
You don’t need to do anything. You don’t need to make it all better – just listen, please.
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Tags: friends and family
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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
I am, by nature, a glass half empty person. If I think the worst, I’m tempting fate; if I’m quietly confident, then catastrophe is inevitable.
Or that’s what it feels like sometimes.
Fortunately, positive thinking can be acquired.
Like any bad habit, you can re-wire your head if you practice something enough.
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Tags: positivity, things that help
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
Getting better is not always the easiest option – so you’ve got to have a reason to break through the pain barrier. A little personal pep talk to keep you going when the going gets tough.
I’d love to write the script, to provide a nice neat comprehensive list of reasons that will keep you on the straight and narrow -
- but my reasons belongs to me and your reasons have to belong to you.
My personal pep talk will never sound like your personal pep talk – because, the key to getting through recovery is working out what makes the difference for you. It’s identifying that elusive – and all important – touchstone that gives recovery a context for you.
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Tags: recovery
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
How simple is this. I don’t even need an extended post.
If you smile at someone, they’ll smile back.
If they don’t smile back, you don’t mind that much because at least you’re more smiley than they are.
If they do smile back, you feel all warm. The world isn’t that bad and you’re not really on your own.
Excellent all round.
You’ve just got to remember to do it.
Tags: positivity
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Sunday, July 12th, 2009
Can I just point out that a plastic portioned plate of cold food is not the best recipe for encouraging someone to eat?
Is it only me who realises that high calorie creamed cuisine is likely to be a little bit cloying for someone who is unaccustomed to eating?
If you’re trying to support someone to recover, it’s good to apply a little logic.
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Tags: Eating
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Saturday, July 11th, 2009
A few years ago, I would have slammed the treatment for eating disorders. I would have blamed my failed attempts at recovery on professional incompetence, medical ignorance – and the government’s failure to provide an adequate national health service.
A few years ago, I would have said that nobody could help me. When you’ve tried everything from inpatient to outpatient – via day therapy and 24 hour guard – within private, public and locked facilities; delivered by doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, specialists, hypnotherapists …well, you start to feel that all the options have been exhausted.
Today, I can say that the latter’s not true – and that I’m probably not milky white in relation to the former.
The treatment for eating disorders is not, as I’d liked to have believed, fundamentally flawed -
I didn’t really help myself.
(more…)
Tags: treatment
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Saturday, July 11th, 2009
I couldn’t resist. I know the subject (re-learning how to start eating normally) is serious but I’d rather lighten the tone, ease the tension a little.
And it’s not just an empty pun. It’s exactly what I had to do. Prove that food isn’t what the eating disorder said it was, start building up a little evidence, find a little ammunition to challenge 17 years of negative associations.
(more…)
Tags: change, Eating, things that help
Posted in Getting Better | No Comments »
Saturday, July 11th, 2009
Hitting the bottom is strangely liberating. It’s easier to throw caution to the wind when it feels like the worst has already happened.
The ‘what have you got to lose’ approach is similar to “what’s the worst that can happen?” in psychiatric speak. The latter never worked for me – because if I knew what ‘the worst that could happen’ was then it wouldn’t be so terrifying – but the former’s been quite useful.
The subtle difference? The ‘worst that can happen’ assumes something bad in the outcome; the ‘nothing to lose’ admits that your starting place ain’t worth conserving.
(more…)
Tags: positivity
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Thursday, July 9th, 2009
I am not a doctor, as you may have gathered.
I am completely unqualified to advise anyone on the pros and cons of anti-depressants, or the chemical constitution of psychiatric drugs, or whether Prozac will make you better or Paroxetine screw with your head –
I just come with two pieces of advice:
Talk to your GP because everyone’s different.
If you can, make your own mind up about using medication. It’s important to feel that you’re in control of the decision and that you’re making it for the right reasons.
(more…)
Tags: treatment
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Thursday, July 9th, 2009
Inpatient units are slightly different to other forms of treatment. Chances are, if you’ve reached this point, the choices have been reduced – in which case, inpatient treatment can save your life – but, if you’re just considering options –
Inpatient treatment made me do things that I wanted to do on my own but couldn’t quite manage.
It forced me to change – in the hope that, once I’d gone through the process, the outcome would speak for itself.
Plus, it kept me alive; and, somewhat perversely, the desire not to go back had a huge impact on my recovery.
(more…)
Tags: treatment
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Thursday, July 9th, 2009
Copying other people is part of human nature. We get a little bitchy about it sometimes – the “she’s wearing my outfit” line – but really, most things are down to emulation; learning by looking.
When you are ill, the blinkers are on. When you’re getting better, you need a way of re-connecting.
Throughout my recovery, I’ve used other people as a way of challenging my eating disorder head; as a contradiction to the behaviour that my illness deemed ‘normal’. They probably didn’t realise it – and it probably wouldn’t have worked if they were playing a part – but you need to aim for something when you’re on a rocky sea.
Learning from example gave me the guidance I needed.
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Tags: friends and family
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