Archive for the ‘About Finding Melissa’ Category

Finding Melissa’s Next Steps

Monday, June 28th, 2010

I have not been sleeping for the past few weeks. Like the Duracell bunny, I have been zooming around, crashing every now and then for a couple of days….and then re-charging myself with a burst of creativity and whizzing off again.

I am making some big changes in my life right now. I have suddenly found myself filled with ideas and excitement and action, punctuated with ice cold drafts of doubt, which I seem to be working through. It’s meant that Finding Melissa has taken a back seat, and that I’m going to make some alterations which I’m in the process of figuring out. I’m not great at separating out the parts of my life: I come as one jumbled mess where one part impacts on the other; and my newly discovered gut instinct is currently in control….

The original home page

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

18 years ago, I gained an eating disorder and lost an identity.

It wasn’t a great exchange.

But it wasn’t a complete write off.

This is a story about finding an identity and giving an eating disorder up.

Writing about an eating disorder is fraught with danger. For me. Firstly, there’s the potential cashing-in-on-a-tragedy charge. Then, there’s the glamourising-an-eating-disorder band wagon. The subject’s a bit tired; the details aren’t pretty – and self-exposure should never be entered into lightly. Most importantly, I have categorically refused to define myself in relation to my eating disorder. Until now.

Ironically, it is at the very stage when I am re-discovering my identity, when I am finally finding Melissa, that the value of writing about my experiences is emerging. That it’s beginning to look like my eating disorder has defined me – but not in the way it meant to. Whilst I have lost more than I care to consider and paid highly for the privilege, I’ve also learnt a lot of things – and this is my attempt to tip the balance back in my favour.

I am a writer through and through: I think and dream and sleep and read the world in words. During my illness, I made sense of things through writing and I understood myself better through other people’s words. In my recovery, I realised that anorexia and bulimia had stolen the experiences, inspiration and ambition that would let me write like other people could write.

This is me turning the tables.

I may not know about relationships and exotic places and having children and all the usual things that people can relate to – but I know a lot about eating disorders, and the experiences and emotions ain’t a million miles away from the things that most people feel at some point.

Isolation: unbearable – but great to get you looking at the world around you. Depression: common as hell – but I’m proof that there’s ways out. Addiction: multiple – and the cause and cure’s are the same. Insecurity: comes in fits and starts.Recovery: unpredictable – but possible -

You get the picture.

What’s more – and this is the big one – if eating disorders are about secrecy and distortion and control then this is my chance to expose all.


But then it might mean that I can help someone from waking up at 29, sleeping-beauty-like, and realise that they’ve slumbered their life away because they made a bad deal -

- or just got a little lost along the way….

About Melissa

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Despite baring my soul, I have been reluctant to put my name out there – but, as the site’s all about finding your identity, it would be pretty silly to keep mine under wraps.

Plus, you might be a bit interested in seeing some of the other things that I can do – or seeing whether Finding Melissa might be able to do anything else for you.

I am Melissa Wolfe, 29; born, bred, and currently living Hertfordshire.

I’m a Business Writer by day; a freelance copywriter, aka Wonder with Words, by night; and currently writing Finding Melissa in all the spare minutes that God has given me.

I have an English Lit degree from UCL; and – despite the interruptions – a strong academic history. As you’ve probably gathered, my career has been a little slow to get off the ground – but I’m now running…somewhere…..

Aspirations? Writing is my passion: I need it like I need fresh air -

- and, I think I’m pretty good at it.

Wonder with Words writes to order; Finding Melissa writes from my head and my heart.

Years of therapy have not been wasted: I’m pretty hot at getting to the bottom of things; at challenging what people think and helping them to look at things a bit differently.

Maybe I’ve been conserving brain power –or just become accustomed to problem solving; because, making the connections between the real world and the personal worlds that we all live in comes quite naturally; and, I’ve become adept at coming up with ways of understanding – and then managing the things we all go through.

Book reviews are my indulgence because literature is my love – but, it’s also one of the best ways to make sense of the world; and, just one example of how important words are to human beings.

Finding Melissa seems to be taking me on an exciting new journey – and I’ll keep you updated with where it ends up.

If you want to contact me about any of the above or just to throw some ideas around, you can email via this link.

Fixing Melissa

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.”

John Donne,Meditation XVII

No woman’s an island either and I wouldn’t be where I am today without the people around me.  This is just a  quick – but very big – thank you to my much loved family (Mummy and Daddy and Becky and Chris) and to all the wonderful people in my life, most especially….

Big (in heart and mind) Melissa and Jennie and Fiona and Chloe and Lou and Janey and Nats and Sue

..and to the people who’ve helped me pick up the pieces along the way…

Trevor and Brid and Kate and Richard and Dr Clegg

….and Mikel, who sorted the site.