Adventure, authenticity and 2011.

Last night I went to a 1930s ball. I wore a long black dress, red lipstick and a furry shrug. There was laughter and music and dancing and human slinkies and it was exactly what I want 2011 to be like. Unexpected. Alive. Fun. Vibrant. Full of people.

I do not have resolutions for 2011. I have lived by rules for far too long as it is, and they are a bit too similar for me. I do, however, have dreams and hopes and a whole list of things I’d like to do. It’s what got me motivated for Day One (which is now day three); and what I’m going to try and capture here, should I forget….

Because I would like 2011 to be jampacked full of new adventures and experiences. To be a time where I make up for the lost ground and explore the world unseriously. To be about pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone further and further so that the possibilities, which are already awesome, keep emerging, and I am never quite sure what will be next.

And, I would like 2011 to be about looking, again, at some of the rules and assumptions that I have been living by and seeing if they really stack up. To be about asking whether I wear, or say, or do, xx because I feel or should – or because I want to? – and then seeing if I can work out a way of being that feels like me.

All of me -

The good, the bad, and every shade in between.

- because authenticity comes, with adventure, as one of my 2011 words; and is, I am beginning to learn, the key to self acceptance, and wrapped up with empathy which I want to feel in abundance because -

2011 is about people. It is about connections. It is about getting over my nerves of that first introduction and remembering that we are all human and I am okay, usually, when the conversation starts. It is about looking beyond me. About learning to trust. About remembering that we all have our own stuff. About maybe finding love, if I’m lucky, but loving regardless of whether it comes back.

And, alongside this (while I’m throwing it all out there) I also want to start the new blog I have been talking about; wear over the knee socks with boots; learn a dance and overcome my two left feet; eat some of the things that I am still afraid of…

And never forget, when it gets hard, how much I love life.

New Years small

Wishing you all the very best for 2011.

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12 Responses to “Adventure, authenticity and 2011.”

  1. Sashagoblin says:

    you totally do NOT have two left feet, girl! And thanks for an awesome NY. :D and for your bravery. <3

  2. You are very beautiful.

  3. James says:

    Happy 2011 and, yeah, no resolutions. Just life, love and living.

    Ultimately it all just comes down to being alive and enjoying and appreciating that. There is so much to live for and there’s so much to love. You love life, so just live it. :)

    Thanks for the inspiration and spirit, Melissa. Here’s to living. :D

  4. Jo says:

    Love IT! Let’s go adventuring! It really sounds like things are beginning to fall into place in your head, and it is so wonderful to hear it.

    The world is so big and full of things to see and people to meet, and it’s exciting, isn’t it? 2011 IS going to be a great year, Issa. And congrats on Day 3.

    Jo xx

  5. To clarify, I mean both externally and internally.

  6. A 1930s ball sounds like the most wonderful way to ring in the New Year!!! I so adore the 30s and 40s.

    I wish you a new year that allows you to rise the challenges you’ll face.

    My word for the year is Balance… because living in the extremes doesn’t work. Balance allows us to live life fully and gracefully.

  7. j says:

    Wow! This post gave me chills and the biggest smile! I can’t wait to watch you take on the world, unseriously. I’ll be doing it too, on my side of the puddle. #togetherapart.


  8. Julie Parker says:

    How gorgeous are you! I love this post. All the best for an amazing 2011 – you totally deserve it. xo

  9. Evan says:

    They sound like wonderful hopes and dreams for the year ahead. Wishing you a delight filled 2011.

  10. I love this post madly and deeply. My one small regret ~ that I didn’t write this myself! ~ is swept downstream in a rainbow-colored canoe of happiness that you wrote all this for me. I could just come here and read it headlong and then wrap it around me like the furry shrug you wore to the 1930s ball.

    And now I’m bookmarking it in my most special folder, the one I call Wild Child Dreams & Goals. Thank you for writing this. Unseriously. :~)

  11. Melissa says:

    Thanks so much for the lovely lovely comments. Talking about hopes is harder than for me than discussing fears, I think, so this post has helped me to hold onto what I want and hopefully make it a reality.


  12. Helen says:

    This is a lovely post – all the things I want for myself rather than more of my life wasted in supermarkets and the ensuing routines. I love life too but – because of the ED – never seem to have TIME for it at the moment. You posted something once that gave me the very clear image in my mind of bulimia being like a thief – it steals from you, in so many ways. I both want its spoils, and hate them – as the ill-gotten gains I recognise them to be, yet so badly craved at the same time.

    It frustrates me greatly. That I HAVE found an identity, as you so vividly describe – and I know that everything I want in my life (full of the whole range of emotions) is tantalisingly close – yet I can’t quite reach out to embrace it.

    And the older I get, the more precious I feel my time to be – and the more it makes me so very scared to think that this is slipping though my fingers.

    Please keep dancing : )