The practical bit

I nearly left it with the feelings. Job done. But then I remembered that there’s another bit that has to come hand in hand. I think eating disorders exist on multiple levels, and each one needs a plan.

This is the practical bit. The stuff that is helping me to manage the feelings and turn the behaviours back around.

Regular meals. Food has got complicated and unsafe again, so I don’t much feel like eating. Because this will keep the cycle going, I’m re-introducing a meal plan that I am familiar with and sticking to food I am confident I can keep down.

Boundaries. I am also trying to put some boundaries in around said meal plan. Not in a beat-yourself-up-for-slipping kind of way; but because some things aren’t negotiable. Structure is important at the moment, and I need to make sure the parameters are back again.

Friends. I am spending an inordinate amount of time with my very good friends. Their support is priceless. I am seeing them, when I can; and talking to them; and keeping the emphasis on remembering how fun life was becoming.

A thought is just a thought. Sometimes I mistake a thought for an inevitability – I assume that because the idea has crossed my mind, I need to act. No. I’m crowbarring in some space for changing my mind and remembering that it is okay to let thoughts go.

GP. I am checking in regularly though it’s tempting to hide. He is reminding me of what’s helped in the past; and I am keeping myself accountable to him.

Honesty. I’m being honest. Here. With my friends. With myself. It unsettles the ED. It means that it gets called out and that it isn’t given the opportunity to undermine other areas of my life.

Working, writing, living. My life has become full of wonderful things that I don’t want the ED to steal from. I’m keeping these as the focus. Not in a head-in-the-sand kind of way; but because every minute I give to the eating disorder is taken from one of these.

Planning. I am putting lots of nice things in the diary. These give me stuff to look forward to which takes the edge off the depression and swing me back to facing the right direction.

Bribery. 30 days and I get an iPad. I have to admit that bribery didn’t work when I was younger, but having a goal to work towards seems helpful at the moment. The reward is really, of course, in giving myself a chance – but the incentive bridges the current gap.

Any other suggestions would be very welcome…..

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One Response to “The practical bit”

  1. Evan says:

    This sounds great. The small treats for me are things like reading a murder mystery in a hot bath. I don’t know if you have included these on your list, but if not, that would be may suggestion.