Skidding on Leaves

It has been a damp week and I keep skidding on leaves.

Three times, in the past few days, I have had my life flash before my eyes; and, for just that moment, I have realised how fragile the whole thing is….

How fragile we are.

And then I have righted myself again; and promised to be more careful in future; and promptly forgotten the moment because I am worried about missing my bus, or getting to wherever I am going, or changing the playlist on my iPod –

In quiet moments, this vulnerability comes back to me. I can only think about it for short bursts of time because the implications are too overwhelming to consider, and there is an inherent tension in caring so much about something that could change – or dissolve – or disappear –

like that.

And yet we must.

We must care without any guarantees and without knowing what could come next –

The same uncertainty that I find almost paralysing is what coats every moment in gold dust.

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3 Responses to “Skidding on Leaves”

  1. *hugs*

    Life is very difficult.

  2. Evan says:

    Accepting my vulnerability I find very difficult. Most of the time I’m probably assuming that I’ll live forever.

    At the moment my parents are both 86 and I still find it surprising when they talk quite matter of factly about how much time they think they have left.

  3. James says:

    We are all so vulnerable and we don’t realise it. It is actually extremely scary how fragile life is and I think we need to remember that – not so that we live in constant fear but so that we savour just how precious life is.

    And I guess it’s one of the funny things in life that something seemingly as small and mundane as slipping on wet leaves can jolt you more than something vaster.

    It’s about being careful and aware I guess – not so you are always frightened but so that you realise how lucky you are and that life is special and can be extinguished in a flash. Being aware of mortality needn’t be a morbid thing. It can actually be empowering if you look at it in a different way.

    Anyway, take care out there and only dance in dry leaves. :)