Letting it be

The past few days have been much better.

Not perfect, but there have been some gaps in the clouds; and I am learning to let these, and the clouds themselves, be.

This has been the important bit that I had nearly forgotten how to do.

Sit with the discomfort for a little bit in order to acknowledge whatever’s going on and then learn that it passes.

Wedge a few crucial seconds in between thought and action so that I can think about whether I really want to do what I’m about to do.

Give the moments where I sit though the former and walk away from the latter room to breathe so that I don’t crush the good bits before they’ve had time to grow -

Let it be. 

So simple, and yet so hard when impulsivity and fear have been leading the way. 

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4 Responses to “Letting it be”

  1. girlundiscovered says:

    This is just where I am right now, too. I’m having to get the dialogue going in my head again (the bit of recovery that’s hardest and most tiring – and least talked about!) between the voices of the ED – the Critic – and the kind bit of me – my Best Friend.

    Stepping away from a situation in my head, asking what’s going on, and choosing with whom I want to side and listen to is incredibly hard sometimes. It means literally making the time in my head (and sometimes being a little more quiet and talking a bit less!), wherever and whatever I’m doing, to check in with myself.

    Doing this can feel like a major pain in the ass, but the up-side is that I then genuinely have a choice. For the first time in my life, I have been able to choose when I want to eat on the basis of hunger, I can choose not to let a comment or an incident affect my whole self for the rest of the day.

    This, surely, is what we’re all aiming for. And remembering it to be a process and not something with a beginning and an end. I trust that the positive voices will eventually be the dominant ones, and it will get easier. But that I still have to practice it to get there and stay there.

  2. :)

    “Simple” does not mean “easy” (as I have been re-learning lately.)

  3. James says:

    Good stuff. I could go off into really deep philosophical stuff about all this but that defeats the point. We make everything so complicated, we get so stressed out and we cling to everything – mainly negativity, anxiety, worry and the things that make us fearful or uneasy. It doesn’t matter, just let it be and free yourself from it.

    Let go. Let it be. Let that be the way of living. Thanks for the nice post and crucial reminder Melissa. :)

  4. Chloe Cook says:

    Remember “It’s only a moment” :)
    Hugs xx