Doing it until it feels like normal …

Is an old cliché, but one that I have re-discovered in the past few days.

This week has felt better. Not perfect, but a marked improvement – and it’s because I’ve focused on doing it through the discomfort, rather than waiting for the feelings to go away.

I have learned the lesson before, but some lessons need a little re-iteration, particularly those that demand you to act on blind faith.

And so, I have fixed up a busy calendar and over-ridden the misplaced anger which comes from the subsequent obligation – and, within an hour or so, found that I’m having a brilliant time.

And, I have sat with the meals that I didn’t feel like eating and through the urge to remove the feeling – and slowly re-built the boundaries that, a few months ago, were keeping me safe.

It has not been easy.

It has meant that I have had to go back into pulling myself away from what was becoming an unhealthy form of normal; and there was a tension in the switch –

But each change reinforces the new direction, and each piece of practice takes a bit of the discomfort away.

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6 Responses to “Doing it until it feels like normal …”

  1. j says:

    This is kind of profound. A version of “act how you want to feel,” I think. I’ve been doing this too… because I think I know the way to happy. So if, for now, I have to act like I’m already there in order to get there, I can live with that.

    Thank you for the reminder.

  2. Evan says:

    Well done, many congratulations.

  3. James says:

    I don’t like the “fake it till you make it” mantras – probably because it all feels like putting on a front and being false… BUT there is a difference between being fake and kind of gritting your teeth and going through the discomfort.

    Riding out the discomfort isn’t easy at all but if you do it you can progress and push your self-imposed limits and ‘normalise’ stuff. Thanks for the reminder – practice at doing in spite of fear and feelings of discomfort is the way forward is the way to move forward. :)

  4. Afterglow05 says:

    You’re amazing.
    You don’t stop fighting. EVER.
    I hope things continue on the right path and that you keep doing what you know you need to do even when it’s terribly uncomfortable.

  5. Melissa says:

    Thanks for the comments guys –

    J – and then one day you realise that it’s real. Think I do the same but if I step back I often realise that I slipped out of practicising and it is. xx

    Thanks Evan :)

    James – I totally agree: there’s a fine line between ignoring or negating your feelings and over-riding the discomfort. I think maybe you can do both – acknowledge and then move through – and I guess that’s how we move on.

    Afterglow – Thank you so much. Your comment made me so proud. xx

  6. anonymus says:

    i don’t know you&ive never come across this site before but I just need to say to u,please don’t look back,ur are an angel coming this far&there is so much u will have to look forward to in the future.i know it’s easy for me to say anything,but I will never know what it is like for you,i can’t imagine how difficult this is for u,but u will get through it,have faith in urself,stay strong,u can beat it,please just keep on going,please