A note on my terrible comments policy -

Because I have one of the worst replying-to-comment policies on the internet, I just wanted to write a quick post on comments. And on the fact that they mean a huge amount to me, contrary to what my haphazard responses would suggest.

A few months ago, one of my favourite bloggers wrote a post that really made me think. Actually, it jarred a little uncomfortably – and then it made me think. About conversation, and comments, and what the interaction between writer and readers means.

When I started Finding Melissa, it was just me and my illness. I was so cut off and introspective that I couldn’t see beyond the narrow parameters of my existence, or imagine that some of my experiences might be shared. The comments here, and the wider community of Twitter, have transformed my outlook on the world. They have bridged the gap and added a context that has broken through the isolation. They have been the unexpected answer when I was used to talking to myself.

And so, sometimes, I don’t know what to say. And sometimes I forget just how much hinges on dialogue. And sometimes I’m just inexcusably disorganised –

But when I don’t say anything, it infers that I don’t appreciate the courage that comes from sharing an opinion, and it conceals the gratitude I feel for people bothering to stop by and think about my blog.

So, I leave it for a few days; and then, like in real life, I worry that I’ve missed the opportunity and it would be a little funny to say something, now… Which means that things are unsaid.

I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule for comments replies on blogs – but I think it’s important to say thank you and to acknowledge the other side of the conversation, and I haven’t done this very well.

So, a huge thank you for sharing your experiences and letting me know that you’re out there. Thank you for reading – and then thinking about – what I write. Thanks you for coming back even though it might feel like you’re writing into a vacuum. Thank you for giving me ideas, and support, and encouragement, and making me smile -

I guess the subject’s been weighing on my mind as I don’t want to be someone who forgets the conversation, particularly when it has spread into and enriched my whole life. 

Thank you. xx

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One Response to “A note on my terrible comments policy -”

  1. girlundiscovered says:

    Hi Melissa,

    I’m so glad that you’ve found your writing voice and have begun to post again. Your blog is a constant source of interest, inspiration and understanding which I often find myself coming to on my coffee breaks :-)

    I wanted to say that I think you’re being much too harsh on yourself here, and perhaps expecting a little much of yourself at the moment. You’re getting yourself back on track – and that has to come first for one – but also perhaps your Critic self is taking over, much like mine has been at the moment, worrying about what others think and whether or not you’re making the grade.

    To offer an outsiders viewpoint, I never thought that you were lapse on commenting back to people, or that your being silent following a comment meant anything other than the conversation coming to a natural full-stop for the moment. For one, this reader knows you hear what I say and listen to it.

    So try not to worry too much and concentrate on the positive. You are writing again and we are all very happy to hear what you have to say :-)