I have been re-writing my CV recently. It is clean, sparse, and formulaic. I have done a lot, in a relatively short space of time, but the lot feels overshadowed by the glaring delay. Plus, my biggest achievement remains unsaid.
I’m not too sure how well my background would go down. Whether it would be considered a liability or, as I’m beginning to view it, a difficult journey, without which I would not be who I am.
Without which I would not be me.
I did not expect to reach this conclusion, nor arrive at a place where I regard my recovery with recognition and pride. I am used to focussing on the things that have been stolen and the missed opportunities. I rarely stop and reflect that, whilst I might have preferred an alternative route, it is the path I have trodden which has got me to where I am; the lessons learnt along the way, fundamental to whichever journey I next go on.
So, I might not be able to capture this feeling in a CV, nor explain it particularly eloquently in an interview. And the appreciation may dissipate, tomorrow, when the frustration kicks in or I am arguing with myself again –
But, today, at this very moment, there are some positives I can take from the experiences which I think will stand me in good stead – like courage, and confidence, and awareness, and a commitment to really throwing my heart and soul into whatever comes next.
I’ve prodded and probed my personality and perception, so I’ve sussed out where most of my weaknesses lie – and how to work through them. Have learnt, by default, about human nature, and emotions, and empathy, and the things we all do to help ourselves along.
I’ve seen, because I have come so close to losing, how precious life is and how much I desperately want to give.
And, after a decade of hardcore therapy, I’ve developed a cracking set of transferable skills – from goal setting to problem solving – that any company should kill for –
And I’m using, finally, to help me move on.