I have been carrying around some stuff for a while, without realising that it’s not actually mine.

I didn’t stop to consider where it came from until recently; in fact, I don’t think the question even entered my head. It has only emerged – upon closer inspection – that a lot of the fears and feelings I have assumed over the years do not belong to me.

It has been like getting home with the right black coat – only when you check the label, it’s wrong.

The assumption that the world is out to get me – well, it’s not mine and I’m not sure I agree. And the drive, constantly, to prove and demonstrate and assert an authority – well that might have been necessary once, but it doesn’t fit anymore.

The belief that taking up space merits an explanation or an apology is starting to scratch; and the need to match everyone else’s clothing has got rather tight….

In fact, a lot of what I’ve been walking around in is outdated or second hand.

So, I am sorting through my metaphorical wardrobe to distinguish my belongings from those I have mistakenly put on; and, I’m trying on some stuff I’ve been keeping – only to realise that it’s no longer my size and my style has changed, dramatically, over the years.

It is helpful, every now and then, to step back with a critical eye and check that we’re not wearing someone else’s wardrobe or last decade’s trends. To see beyond the reflections and refractions, and sift out the things that we have walked off with –

And those it might be time to replace.

Tags: letting Go, the human head, unravelling

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 1:11 pm and is filed under Being Human. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.