Yesterday, I stumbled across a link on twitter to an article listing “30 Things I Love About Myself”, and was immediately struck by the concept.
Listing things we love about ourselves is not something we are often encouraged to do, particularly in the UK. Modesty is seen as an attribute; and pride tends to come before a fall – or so I have always believed.
Accepting that an outfit looks nice takes places after some painful to-ing and fro-ing (“do you really think so?” – “yes really” – “but doesn’t it look out of place?” – “no, not at all”); and is, more often than not, accompanied by a mental twist (“she didn’t mean that”). Whilst blowing your own trumpet typically comes with an apology (“I don’t mean to brag but…”) or a quick justification (“well, that’s what so-and-so thought”) – so that it’s acceptably said.
Liking yourself might be mistaken for arrogance – or is halted, subconsciously, before the charge can be laid; and why wait for other people to point out your weaknesses if you can get there first…
You can not, I am beginning to learn, expect others to like you if you don’t even like yourself.
Listing the things I like about me therefore seems like a good place to start – but it also comes with a massive risk. I am setting myself up for contention and breaking what I have conceived to be a major social rule.
But then I’ve probably done a lot of that already, so here goes and in no particular order…
Things I like about being me -
- That I get ridiculously excited about books -
- And writing.
- And the connections between the world and writing
- My curiosity.
- The birthday cards I make for my friends (when I remember) -
- And how that makes them feel.
- My hair when it goes wavy.
- The fact that I do things that I’m scared of -
- And that I can admit to my faults.
- My ability to analyse everything (okay, it’s both annoying and a skill!).
- The speed of my head.
- How easily pleased I often am.
- That I still write to my Granny every week even though she forgets.
- My honesty.
- The good ideas I have at work. Sometimes.
- That I can still play the first page of the Bruch Violin concerto, even if my technique’s totally shot.
- My slightly eclectic music taste.
- How easily excited I am.
- That I try to be kind.
- My scrabble skills.
- That I carry on writing the books I’m reading in my head to fall asleep.
- My belief in Love.
- And fairytales.
- My genuine hugs.
Whew! There we go. That used a whole different thought process, and a lot of hushing and shushing of the voices that would have liked to jump straight in.
It is surprisingly hard to move beyond the objections and accept that I can like myself.
It feels unexpectedly unfamiliar to give myself a little positive endorsement – rather than fixating on the flaws.
But it is strangely pleasing to realise that I’m not quite as bad as I tend to think I am – and there’s rather a lot I like about being me.
And now it’s your turn. What are the things you like about you?
Tags: Identity, Positivity, self discovery, Self Esteem, things that help
I LOVE your #21!!! I truly hope some day you’ll be able to buy a book by me, and continue writing it in your head. Just thinking of that gives me a big smile. (And also, I hope it doesn’t take you 3 months to read it.)
Okay, I’ve been drifting through your blog for much longer than I intended. A lovely place to be, but I have to get to work. Thank you for being here to distract me.
It is a bit of a weird one. I think maybe I should have been a ghost writer in another life!…you’ll have to let me know when that book’s done!
Here’s my attempt at giving this positive malarky a go…
1. That my belief in love, marriage and the concept of family has thrived against the odds.
2. That I can see the world in a child-like way.
3. My long hair.
4. My talent for drawing.
5. My eye for colour, and for colouring hair, despite not working in hair for 5 years or more.
6. Being able to turn my hand to anything, and make a success of it, if I want to.
7. My passionate nature.
8. My sense of humour.
9. My curves and their amazing staying power, even when punished beyond belief for just being what they are – natural and attractive.
10. My lips.
11. My propensity for a piercing now and again – and for taking them out on a whim!
12. My intelligence.
13. My empathy for those people in distress that I come across daily at work and ability to be kind to them, when I can’t be kind to me.
14. I’m a good friend.
15. I’m a good girlfriend.
16. My closet housewife habits and not-so-secret nesting!
17. My ability to make friends with cats.
18. I’m honest when I need help and ask for it.
19. I’m working hard every day to make things a little bit better.
20. My love of goth/rock culture, despite growing out of the black obsession of my teens.
21. That I could read before I went to school and have recently found my love of books again.
22. I am brave enough to put myself out there again. I’ve been trying to do new things and rediscover the old ones.
23. I can give people compliments and mean it.
Brilliant! A partner in crime! Do you feel better? …. You certainly brought a big smile to my face! xx
A lot better – thank you for the inspiration!
I went into a shop at lunch time and tried a dress I’d run and hide from normally on, on impulse. Didn’t think about it; just did it. I look amazing in it! I really shocked myself (excellent technique of my group leaders – catching yourself unawares in mirrors because your brain lets you see what you want otherwise). Whilst the length and quality weren’t exactly what I’d choose in an ideal world, it’s left me feeling upbeat (without resorting to chocolate) and feeling hopeful that maybe I might just be worthy of those people’s love who choose to give it to me.
So 24. I look gorgeous in body-con BECAUSE I have curves!
I found you through a link 20 Inspiring Ways to Boost Your Body Image We were both featured in this article, and oddly enough my post was also about making a list of your good qualities, rather than focusing on “the problem” (in my case, not having a girlishly slender figure) Great post, and love that you shared so much!
Thanks for your comment and I love your site! There’s so much positive stuff on there that it really reminds me of the importance of trying to shift the focus. It’s not about ignoring the problem – it just feels a lot less of a problem if there’s a balance in place. xx