Comments on: The Hug http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/2010/04/the-hug/ Thu, 26 May 2011 14:45:53 +0200 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: girlundiscovered http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/2010/04/the-hug/comment-page-1/#comment-1890 girlundiscovered Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:39:30 +0000 http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/?p=2560#comment-1890 I love physical contact - hugs, kisses etc. - and am lucky enough to be with someone who lets me maul them now and again! I've found that I'm now the opposite - overly affectionate but only with selected people. Some people I am deeply uncomfortable hugging. My Dad's recently tried to be a bit more affectionate, and while I appreciate the effort, my family have been fairly affection-free for so long that it's really unnerving now! I think for me, I will take forward the importance of being affectionate with other people, particularly any future children, because of the impact it can have in later life. Maybe if I'd felt a little more loved - literally - then I wouldn't have been so mean to myself and my body. I love physical contact – hugs, kisses etc. – and am lucky enough to be with someone who lets me maul them now and again!

I’ve found that I’m now the opposite – overly affectionate but only with selected people. Some people I am deeply uncomfortable hugging. My Dad’s recently tried to be a bit more affectionate, and while I appreciate the effort, my family have been fairly affection-free for so long that it’s really unnerving now!

I think for me, I will take forward the importance of being affectionate with other people, particularly any future children, because of the impact it can have in later life. Maybe if I’d felt a little more loved – literally – then I wouldn’t have been so mean to myself and my body.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/2010/04/the-hug/comment-page-1/#comment-1867 Melissa Sun, 18 Apr 2010 20:57:54 +0000 http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/?p=2560#comment-1867 I think you're right about different physical contact for different people. I guess what is really striking for me is how much I have gone against my natural desire to contact people - and now, how hard it is to reverse the trend! I guess it is, as you say, another reason to keep fighting on! ;) I think you’re right about different physical contact for different people. I guess what is really striking for me is how much I have gone against my natural desire to contact people – and now, how hard it is to reverse the trend! I guess it is, as you say, another reason to keep fighting on! ;)

]]> By: James Clayton http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/2010/04/the-hug/comment-page-1/#comment-1865 James Clayton Sun, 18 Apr 2010 19:54:07 +0000 http://www.findingmelissa.co.uk/?p=2560#comment-1865 Really sorry to read about the lack of hugs and discomfort, Melissa. I can empathise with the feeling of loneliness. For me probably the most upsetting thing about anorexia was that for ages my sister refused to hug me because she didn't want to 'touch a skeleton'. That really hurt (over now luckily enough) and just the thought that I had loads of love to offer people but that I couldn't because of eating disorders brings me down. I guess anorexia and eating disorders play body politics in different ways with different people so hugs and physical contact may not be helpful for everyone. All I know is that for me, contact with other humans - whether talking or hugging or whatever - always helps fight against the angry voice of anorexia inside. Really sorry to read about the lack of hugs and discomfort, Melissa. I can empathise with the feeling of loneliness. For me probably the most upsetting thing about anorexia was that for ages my sister refused to hug me because she didn’t want to ‘touch a skeleton’. That really hurt (over now luckily enough) and just the thought that I had loads of love to offer people but that I couldn’t because of eating disorders brings me down.

I guess anorexia and eating disorders play body politics in different ways with different people so hugs and physical contact may not be helpful for everyone. All I know is that for me, contact with other humans – whether talking or hugging or whatever – always helps fight against the angry voice of anorexia inside.

]]>