I would quite easily identify myself as a perfectionist.

I’m not good with failure and I don’t like making mistakes. I aim to please, am a little obsessive, and like things to be ‘just so’…

Interestingly, if you asked me to define ‘just so’, I’d probably struggle, and if you asked me to describe “perfection”, it’d be equally hard….which is where this post begins.

Following an interesting twitter trail, I have been revisiting my issues with perfectionism, and stumbled across a few anomalies that have made me stop; think; and then begin to realise that it might actually be possible to shift my perpetual dissatisfaction.

After years of never quite being good enough, this would be most welcome.

Know where you’re heading….

Until today, I had never actually asked myself what perfection would look like, should I be fortunate enough to reach it. This fails the SMART test at the first step. Whilst I can highlight the flaws very easily; identify a positive in contrast to my negative; and am on familiar terms with disappointment, I can rarely describe what ‘perfect’ would be.

In some cases, this is easy to identify (correct spelling, for example, or a flawless painted wall); but, more often than not, perfection seems tied up with more abstract things, like how it feels when you get there, and whether or not you’ve spotted any kinks…

In most cases then, I defer my definition of perfection to other people’s opinions, and this is fundamental flaw number two:

Perfection is subjective

Take cake, as a simple example. Your perfect cake is probably not the same as mine. What’s more, if you’re judging perfection on appearance, an iced masterpiece might win; but, if it comes down to taste, the verdict could be very different.

Is perfection in the eyes of the beholder – or the creator; down to personal preference – or a set of criteria? If we’re talking about spelling, the answer’s obvious; but, when it comes down to the things I often struggle with (writing, being a nice person, saying the right thing, a good piece of work), the guidelines are less tangible.

Which version?

So, do I go for my idea of perfection (providing I remember to ask myself how I will know when I’ve got there), or do I defer to someone else’s ideal, and maybe hand over a little of the personal pride? Perhaps I should establish a scientific basis for each aspiration – or will that just create another opportunity for failure?

And then, supposing there was a formula and I achieved perfection on a regular basis; would that really be as satisfying as I hoped for…

Post perfection

You know that slightly empty feeling after you’ve finished working on something and it all comes off without a hitch; the kind of fizzle that seems to follow the relieved elation and the initial surge of pride.

Is this what it would feel like to live in perfection?

Or, would it be a constant looking over your shoulder to make sure you didn’t go on to disappoint or slid back down the slippery slope?

And where the hell do you go next?

Maybe, perfection’s created to keep us moving forwards, in which case we could well be chasing an illusion; because, “perfect” may disappear in a poof of smoke when you reach it – and realise that something’s a bit wrong…

The perfection illuson and positive imperfection

This would infer that, more often than not, perfection’s a bit of an illusion, and I’m sure the thesis has been explored by more philosophically trained minds than my own.

Plus, if we didn’t make mistakes, then we wouldn’t see where we could improve; and, more often than not, imperfections leads to learning and helps you to work out what to do next.

This is where the “no failure, only feedback” statement comes into its own, and where my random chain of perfection dissection has ended up; because, I’m not sure that I’d like a life of perfection (if it even exists), and I’d certainly miss the drive and the learning if I always got it right.

So, maybe it’s time to embrace my many imperfections; and show a little appreciation for the feedback (which is not failure); and go, unperfectly, into the next few weeks to see what I might find out when I happily get it wrong!

Tags: perception, Perfectionism, the human head

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