Sometimes it feels easier to be alone than to be with other people. But I’m told that this lessens over time. I’ve made some steps to do things with others when I didn’t want to, and sometimes it has worked out for the best and other times I have wished I was in my little bubble again. Luckily for me, my bubble has at least expanded to include my boyfriend, but then I feel the loneliness a lot stronger when I do have to go home and be on my own.

What I’m finding really helpful is putting myself out there to do something I’ve always wished I could do (rather than focus on the people bit, which is the scariest part). For me, it’s dance. I had to quit as a child before anything got started for family reasons, and never got back to it, so I’m doing it now rather than put it off or regret it. And it’s proving a way to meet other people who are just as keen as I am, as well as helping me to look at bodies, shapes and size in a different way. I’m looking because someone is good at the dance, or is super-strong, and I’m amazed for those reasons rather than for how big or small they are.

I have started this process and it takes a lot of self-motivation and pushing comfort boundaries (watch this space!); but, I think, for me, I also need to move beyond the immense sadness I’m currently feeling and the urge to regress – rather than progress.

I can’t mend the broken friendships, much to my horror, but I can take the learning into the new ones.

I wish you all the best in your journey and please comment back any suggestions for the next step that help you.

I pushed most of them away when the eating disorder set in (intentionally and not). I tried not to make friends when the opportunity to do so arose because I was afraid (I didn’t know what of at the time, but your article summises it perfectly) and it made it so much harder to make steps towards recovery because of it.

I also found out who really weren’t my friends in the process, which probably makes it even harder now I want to reach out and build myself a life that includes other people. I’m not even sure *how* you make friends as an adult; you don’t have the opportunities to meet people like you do when you are younger and I don’t have the same confidence in striking up conversations. I have recently joined a club doing something I enjoy, so hopefully, in time I will get to know the people there.

However I have learnt to really value, and make an effort, with the few people who have stuck by me. I know what a friend is; making new ones is the next step, I guess.