There is a bit of a risk that I have been type casting myself.
I am slightly concerned that I may be positioning myself as the showcase survivor.
This was, of course, a distinct possibility when I started writing – but it has presented some interesting questions –
Like whether it is possible to articulate an experience – without being caged by it?
And whether the stigma is so strong that honesty is fatal?
And if this is drama – or discussion?
Articulating the experience –
There is a fine line between acknowledging an experience – and clinging onto it.
I am, quite probably, walking along the partition.
In each post or twitter or talk, I align myself with a condition and a state that I am desperately trying to break away from. In every communication or reference or introduction, I am recalling and referring back to my past –
There’s a bit of a worry that this is not moving on.
There have been a few concerns that I remain under the eating disorder’s shadow – even if the position’s altered.
It’s a possibility – but this externalisation and exploration might be part of the transition.
We are, in many ways, defined by our experiences; and maybe the sifting through what’s useful – and what’s better left behind – is the next step in the process?
Plus, if we all just walked away, nothing would change the perception or help the understanding; and, at least my experiences are being used positively now.
Providing that I don’t get stuck with the stigma.
Stigmatised? -
Mental Illness comes with a bit of a stigma.
Still.
We’ve moved on a fair distance – but acceptance remains precarious and we fear what we don’t understand.
Whilst eating disorders – with some famous examples and a lot of media interest – have probably got off relatively lightly, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m still hitting a few unexpected barriers and encountering some strange misperceptions –
But keeping quiet just negates the experiences and perpetuates the myths.
Trying to avoid the stigma just gives it a power that it doesn’t deserve, and avoids a much needed dialogue and some real discussion – which takes us back to the articulating an experience question.
And raises the idea of how to do discussion – and not drama.
Drama – or discussion? -
There have been some interesting debates out there around whether featuring people with eating disorders in adverts or magazines raises the profile of the illness; and, whether the message is pro-recovery or not, the “no such thing as bad publicity” impression lingers.
The media presence at my first inpatient unit definitely made an impressionable 13 year old me consider anorexia as an asset – rather than an illness; and, there’s an inevitable leaning towards eye-catching headlines (‘How I Moved Back From Deaths Door’) or over-hyping (‘Kate Moss causes anorexia’).
The discussion is, however, hugely important – and whether it’s drama, or debate, is all about how it’s done.
And what you’re trying to achieve.
So, I’m trying to stick to the facts and the reality, without being drawn into the sentimentalisation or the hype.
And I’m looking at what needs to be said – in comparison to the gory details.
And I’m learning that, if you do it sensitively, you can bypass the drama – and reach the discussion – and jump out of the stereo-type.
Which is what this is all about.
Tags: Stigma
