My bulimia loved a bargain.
When most of the money that passed through my hands seemed to end up being flushed down the toilet pan; BOGOFs and ‘special offers’ and 50% extras felt like a godsend. A little cut priced bingeing stretched the pennies further and completely overrode any quantity control: why stop at one when the second’s free – and the third and fourth can be saved for tomorrow.
Hoarding was the next part of the trap.
Buying whilst its cheap sounds like the sensible option but it all depends on your next steps plan; and, whether you’re happy condemning yourself to another week of binging or would prefer the option of ‘keeping it open’. Cupboards full of food kind of slams that door shut.
Particularly if you keep re-filling them.
Starvation is hard to forget, and bulimia makes the most of the mentality. After a good few years of investing in the deprivation bank, the next 15 years were spent making damn sure that the experience was not repeated – even if the satisfaction was only temporary.
The sight of an empty cupboard provoked a terror that was only met (nearly) by the sight of full one – and the trap was sprung.
Reversing the trend was easier said then done – but it wasn’t impossible.
There is nothing special about a “special offer” when it simply fast tracks self destruct. I am worth more than the 10p loaf of bread that has been the deciding factor in whether I do – or don’t – put myself through hell again tonight.
A BOGOF is no more than a clever marketing ploy to get you hooked – and then converted. I do not need to add yet another type of food to my already extensive binge menu, and I certainly don’t need to start paying double for the privilege in two weeks time.
50% extra free sounds great but is really the damage – plus half. Instead of eating 400g of cheese, I’ll go for 600g; because it’ll cost the same –
Just not to me.
When the penny dropped, it was easier to start walking away.
When I started to notice the tricks – and to feel the sharp cut of the trap – it was easier to turn away.
And, now, “special offers” are off my shopping list, along with end of line reductions and the supermarkets when the bargains are too good to turn down and the temptation threatens to overwhelm me –
Because what you’re saving in money, you’re paying for in life.
Tags: Bulimia, supermarkets
