Giving up any addiction is a challenge.
Giving up bulimia feels doubly difficult because you can’t just take food out of the equation.
I don’t think there is one hard, fast and proven-to-be-effective way out of bulimia. It is a strange and precarious mix of circumstance and determination and planning and support and being prepared to go through the uncertainty and the unknown.
It’s hard to get it right first time round.
In 2002, I stopped throwing up for 3 months. With hindsight, I wish I’d kept it going but it wasn’t really my choice. Thanks to a section and a 24 hour guard (in the form of a nurse), I had little say in the matter; and, when the curfew ended, I figured it was worth seeing whether I still had the knack, so to speak. Just in case the need ever arose again.
Big mistake and first lesson: like any addiction, dabbling is difficult.
Second lesson: being forced to stop something is not the same as doing it for yourself.
2005 was my second big attempt. It was a gradual and well planned saying goodbye. A medically intervened and supported attempt to see what life was like without my head down a toilet.
I made it for two nights on my own and one night in hospital.
Third lesson: giving up bulimia doesn’t work if you’re not prepared to eat.
By 2008, I’d kind of had enough.
I’d laid the foundations a little and done a bit of practicing.
I knew what to expect.
And I finally got what it was costing me.
See, its people like you and websites like this that inspire me to think we will one day find a guaranteed solution for bulimia nervosa. Knowing that individuals have to grow up and deal with a disease as draining as bulimia breaks my heart, Im glad people like the ones that run this blog are making a legitimate effort in educating the public and attempting to make a difference. Thanks again.