The Blame Game

This is a quick word of warning.

I played the blame game for years. You always lose.

I don’t know whether it’s different for people who are genuinely the victims of wrong doing and I wouldn’t like to speak for them – but, mostly, you don’t get anything back from blame. You certainly never get what you want back: any satisfaction always comes at a cost.

At first I blamed my family.

Then I blamed doctors. Particularly doctors in treatment centres (ouch, you can hear that letting that one go’s still a little raw).

I blamed anyone and everyone who’d ever said anything that I didn’t like or anything that had upset me.

I used up a lot of energy. Expended a lot of emotion – mostly anger. Demanded that someone else took responsibility, that it was someone else’s fault.

It’s not something that I’m particularly proud of. But it’s probably an important lesson to learn. It’s probably a common human mistake: we all like to have reasons; we all get angry; and, it’s hard to not want everyone else to hurt when you’re hurting so much.

The thing is, while you’re caught up in being angry with the girl who once said such and such however many years ago; they’re probably happily getting on with their life.

While you’re busy charging Fred Blogs with making you ill, and Dr X with not making you better, and anyone who ever insulted your pride with not saying the right thing – well, you’re just giving your power away and avoiding the inevitable challenge: you’re the only one who can make the difference.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

But it’s also quite liberating.

And it’s far more likely to get you where you want to be than waiting for someone else to accept responsibility.

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