A wise man once asked me what good had come out of my eating disorder. If it had happened so that something positive could come out of the whole experience; what would that positive be?
Sweet FA was my answer for a very long time.
But I was missing the point.
The everything happening for a reason approach doesn’t negate your bad experience, it doesn’t pretend that what you’ve been through was happy and pleasant and something you’d want to repeat (my issue with rose tinted glasses) – it just helps you to reframe it a little.
If you’re looking for the positive reason, then you can still acknowledge that the experience was hideous – but at least you’ve got something helpful out of it. If you’re focussed on what you can use in the future, you don’t get quite so bogged down by it all.
I am getting quite good at it now. Lots seems to have gone wrong this month; so, I’ve learnt a whole heap of new things….
Having my bathroom ripped out has resulted in me discovering that I can – contrary to my previous assumption – go swimming before work and enjoy it. Living in chaos has shown that – despite my particularly anal OCD – I am able to go to sleep without washing in a certain order or hanging my towels up freakishly straight.
Fracturing my ankle forced me to face the fact that I still have a slight tendency towards addictive behaviour which I probably need to address. Getting a virus led to my West Wing discovery. Breaking my car radio showed me that I could bear silence for a little while – and sort out problems myself.
Whilst I’d prefer not to repeat the experiences, I’m still standing; and, I haven’t – as I might have previously done – written the world off just yet…
Because the learning’s been important and it will help me.
Because, if you have to go through hard stuff, knowing that the hard stuff was there for a reason makes if much more bearable.
And after a while, concentrating on the up side becomes second nature.
Tags: helping yourself, Positivity
